7. Weddings at Dhawalpura
Nazim’s letter to his brother came with the news that the date for
Humaira's nikah has been fixed and we were asked to be there. After the elder
sister passed away, now Humaira was being engaged with the same bro-in-law. I
felt sorry for her. Zubaida Baji, his eldest sister, had passed away much
before my marriage. She didn’t lead a happy life. Ultimately she had
TB and could not survive. She was the beloved of her Abba. He spent plenty on
her treatment but at that point of time, TB was incurable. Doctor Saheb has
written a poem in her memory. So when we reached Patna for the occasion it
wasn’t really like attending a wedding ceremony. Selected few had come with the
baraat. The faces were grim. No one bothered to ask the condition of the girl
who was getting married. The parents who take so much pain to bring up the
child and shower love at every occasion, never even cared seek the consent of
the girl child. That rukhsati geet was apt for the occasion:
Babul kahe ko byahe bides
Main to tere khoonte ki gaiyya re
The girl is asking her father why she is being married to an alien land as
she is like a cow tied to his post. It was like tying the cow to just another
post. We saw her off. The suffering was so much for her that she fell ill as
she reached her sasural.
Immediately after this, another marriage in the family was to be held.
Asmu Aapa was the youngest daughter of Shmsa Khala Amman. The marriage was
settled after a long gap. The maids used to be sarcastic to gossip “unko Lord
Collector chahiye”. Allah had a suitable reply for them. The boy’s name was Abu
Nasar and they belonged to Aarah. He was initially in the defense services and
after was war was over, he was reverted to civil services. Eventually was
promoted as Collector. As he was essentially a military personnel, his
mannerism and thinking reflected it well. “No jahez will be offered and no
rituals performed” – had been announced by his side. He came with the baraat in
a simple shirt and trouser. After the dinner, he was brought inside. The usual
first customary ritual is to have the sharbat in a glass from the
hands of either a saali or sarhaj. Though he had already declared that he is
not game for any sort of such conventional rituals, still I was asked to offer
him sharbat as there was no Sali for him and I was the only sarhaj around.
Initially I was reluctant to take this chance because of his
martinet reputation. As everyone insisted, I had no other go but to go with a
glass of sharbat. I said salam and tried to pacify him “ this is not a ritual;
just a cold drink for the guest coming from a distant place”. He stared at me
from head to toe. I was scared like hell. Still as he was looking at me I asked
“ haven’t you seen any lady before ?” He took the glass from me with a smile.
He took a sip and gave it back. I was much relieved and thanked him. The bride
was then brought next to him. But no other ritual was performed except perhaps
sindoor was put in with the help of the ring. That was all. In the morning the
bride was sent off. After the reception the couple came back as per the
convention. He gradually got free and informal with us. Nasar Bhai was a
frank-in-the-heart person devoid of hypocrisy. He was short
tempered but had a clear heart. After the violence, he migrated to
Bangladesh and there too he was posted as Commissioner and when Pakistan was
partitioned, he went to West Pakistan and remained at Secretary Level and
earned name and fame for himself.
When Zulfiquar Ali Bhutto came to power, the tide turned against him and
he was terminated from service and all his property was confiscated by the
Govt. there. Still he was in a well to do position. Later, I went there twice
to meet them. When he went for the Haj something drastic happened that entirely
changed his approach towards life. He spent most of his time thereafter in
prayers. He was still very warm when he met us the last time. He had three
sons. Asmu Aapa is now no more. She got everything in her life but she spent
the life under the shadow of fear of Nasar Bhai.
Doctor Saheb left for Araria and I stayed back in Dhawalpura. Gandhijee’s
freedom movement was gathering momentum. When the leaders were
imprisoned, the agitation was intensified and public properties were destroyed
or torched. The demand for “quit India” was picking up. Patna City was packed
with military contingent and a good number of the personnel were British. They
were a crazy lot. They were crazy about women and would call any woman “Lal
Bibi” and run after them. They ate most of the vegetable in the raw form.
Someone offered them Kanda which in its raw form, has allergic effects in the
mouth. The result was the face got swollen like a football and absolutely red.
The postal service was disrupted due to the agitation. He got totally
secluded as there was no means of communication. After a while when the postal
service was restored, I received a bunch of letters written by Doctor Saheb
written earlier. He somehow managed to come to Patna and stayed for a few days.
I was insisting to go along with him but he asserted that incidents were still
recurring and it was not safe for me to travel and go there. During this
period, Humaira too had a daughter in Kurji Hospital. When she was back
home, Amman and I went to Araria along with Dulha Bhai. Nothing
memorable happened during this time. It was now time for my next delivery. As
the hospital facilities in Araria did not have a lady doctor, we all moved back
to Patna. World War was still on. Bhaiya was employed in Rampur and was staying
there.
Next day Doctor Saheb was to leave for Araria when I got the labor pain
and had to be rushed to Tripolia hospital with Amman. Reyaz was then
sleeping and he was left in the care of Jamila Bua. By the time Miss Gupta came
to see me I was strolling in the corridors. Within a short while the baby was
born. Miss Gupta was furious over my eleventh hour admission in the Hospital
for it could have happened even while in transit. He extended his leave for a
couple of days more. He himself went to Dhawalpura to inform everyone there.
Amman also asked him to call for Makhdooman Bua who was a veteran in looking
after the infants and also was ever willing to come for such occasions. He got
her along with him in the same rickshaw. Bua was later telling that Doctor Babu
appeared to be very delighted over the birth of a girl child. This
time when we went to Araria, Makhdooman Bua too tagged along.
Within one year Sakkoo’s engagement was fixed. That was with Reyazur-
Rahman, son of Shah Abdul Mannan of Kashmiri Kothi in Patna city itself. He was
class mate of Nazim in the first year of college. Hence we were back to Patna
city. Somehow there was no permanent cooking help at that point of time there.
Most of the cooking was managed by the two sisters. Now that Sakkoo was to be
the dulhan and Humaira was expecting again, the entire responsibility of the
kitchen fell on my shoulders. The kitchen was a makeshift one in one of the
smaller courtyards and was virtually open. While cooking the lunch, as I got up
to get some drinking water and came in the open, I suddenly collapsed. That was
heat stroke. Doctor Saheb came and took me inside a room. I regained senses but
it appeared as if the skin had been burnt. The local treatment was sharbat of
small unripe mangoes which was rubbed on the entire body as well. Only next day
I felt the strength to climb the stairs and reach my room.
A thousand baratis were expected in Sakkoo’s marriage. Considering the hot
weather, the seating arrangement was done in the open field outside while the
dinner was to be held on the first floor. This planning, in retrospect, proved
to be a blunder. As Mamoon Abba was affected with paralysis, the
entire arrangement was being done by Doctor Saheb and Dulha Bhai. Even before
the dishes could be taken to the first floor, the baratis piled on to the
dinner. What followed was chaos. Past midnight Mumani Amman gave me a piece of
baqarkhani bread to eat. The dinner for the inmates was still far away.
Eventually at 3 in the morning everyone had dinner. Asim got and exclusive
plate-full for me and forced me to have it. Then there was the announcement for
the arrival of the groom. The Dulha was decked up in the most conventional
manner. Sherwani made of kemkhwab, the traditional head-gear, surma in the
eyes. After some jostling, I could offer him the sharbat which he was about to
finish off when someone ordered from behind “ don’t have it all!, the girls
feet will be washed with the remainder”.
The conventional wedding rituals went on till it was day-break. Soon after
the khilwat, it was rukhsati time. For the reception, I had gone to Kashmiri
Kothi together with the remaining two sisters. Mumani Amman now was rarely
going out. The arrangement was excellent there. It was an old fashioned house.
Every door had two maids waiting to usher the guest to the huge open
court yard. A couple of maids were there to take care of the slippers of the
guests after they got on the seats. Shamsa Bibi was in full command those days.
Salloo Bibi was known among relatives for her beauty. Indeed she was a
masterpiece! In every aspect; even the fingers were delicate. The waist was
slim and so were the lips. I found her to be admirable to the extreme. The menu
was impressive and the dinner was fabulous. The arrangements were immaculate.
We retuned from the wedding all delighted. Sakkoo too was looking pleased.
After the ceremony was over, we went back to Araria. Now I was sick of
this place. No other doctor wanted to come there given the reputation of this
place as Kala-paani. He was the one who was not fussy and stayed there for such
a long time. It was now time for delivery for me and at the nick of time I was
inflicted with malaria. In course of high temperature, the labor pain started
and the baby was born even before the D-day. It was in the evening of 1944 that
Nuzhat was born. The nurse attending me was smart and I had asked her not to
call the doctor. By the night, the baby started to vomit which contained
elements of blood. He was worried too but consoled me by saying that its just
due to the "conain" medicine that was then given for the treatment of
malaria. In the morning he got a senior Hindu Bengali homeopathic doctor and by
evening the vomiting as well as blood stopped. But I remained unwell for some
time as the stubborn malaria would recur time and again.
After 40 days we came to Patna and consulted a lady doctor who suggested
that infection of malaria was still there in the blood and would require
injection of conaine. The medicine was so potent, the scar of the injection
still remains on my pelvis. After some time when Nazim was getting
married, I was lying in a semi conscious state in the room. Asim used to stay
alongside and Dulha Bhai used to wash my head with cold water and sometimes he
himself would put ice pack on my head. His selfless services during my illness
is difficult to be forgotten. When I recovered fully he started joking and
teasing with me again.
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Chapter
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